Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
