I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize