It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize