Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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