Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i've created a new STD.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He did a backflip because drugs
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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