im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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