It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
