You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
