Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
