Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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