tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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