think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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