i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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