Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
