Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.