Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.