Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.