Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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(434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41

Replies (44) Good night (1015) Bad night (5614)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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(608): We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother. http://tfl.nu/gjr6

Replies (13) Good night (661) Bad night (4329)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

are you high?

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(402): what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers (1-402): are you high? http://tfl.nu/fjf1

Replies (36) Good night (12381) Bad night (827)
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(407): View more from Florida

Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.

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(407): Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents. http://tfl.nu/8i9e

Replies (12) Good night (823) Bad night (2894)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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(501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt

Replies (27) Good night (4446) Bad night (957)
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(425): View more from Washington

I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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(425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5

Replies (13) Good night (1003) Bad night (3198)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.

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(608): She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend. http://tfl.nu/4mn4

Replies (2) Good night (2120) Bad night (571)
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(240): View more from Maryland

We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.

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(240): We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/70u9

Replies (3) Good night (1982) Bad night (913)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.

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(202): Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood. http://tfl.nu/hors

Replies (2) Good night (1920) Bad night (659)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.

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(608): Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out. http://tfl.nu/np60

Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (649)
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(951): View more from California

Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?

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(951): Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win? http://tfl.nu/8vq4

Replies (4) Good night (1086) Bad night (483)
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(614): View more from Ohio

The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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(614): The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/yci0

Replies (16) Good night (3777) Bad night (497)
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(805): View more from California

I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras

(1-805): View more from California

hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.

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(805): I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras (1-805): hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five. http://tfl.nu/dvx9

Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (276)
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(706): View more from Georgia

We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?

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(706): We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf? http://tfl.nu/g95k

Replies (7) Good night (427) Bad night (187)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything

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(+44): Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls (+44): On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything http://tfl.nu/w86s

Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (140)

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