i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.