Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha

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  (702): Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday... (1-702): ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha http://tfl.nu/3d74
  Replies (19) Good night (2734) Bad night (615)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

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  (865): If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport. http://tfl.nu/vfi8
  Replies (26) Good night (3925) Bad night (1904)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated

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  (540): we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated http://tfl.nu/hyb4
  Replies (17) Good night (5369) Bad night (1716)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry

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  (612): if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry http://tfl.nu/j4wi
  Replies (20) Good night (661) Bad night (2875)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.

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  (813): Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age. http://tfl.nu/rqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (1478) Bad night (5586)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..

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  (902): i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see.. http://tfl.nu/ubpf
  Replies (9) Good night (4215) Bad night (1023)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE

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  (902): OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE http://tfl.nu/77eb
  Replies (7) Good night (740) Bad night (2719)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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  (484): so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense http://tfl.nu/m14d
  Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (669)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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  (704): He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was... http://tfl.nu/35ga
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (647)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.

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  (251): You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER. http://tfl.nu/1azh
  Replies (7) Good night (526) Bad night (918)
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  (707): View more from California

  According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You called the wrong number but I salute you.

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  (707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you. http://tfl.nu/npd5
  Replies (4) Good night (1453) Bad night (329)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating

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  (407): I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating http://tfl.nu/dhhy
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (253)
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  (925): View more from California

  You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush

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  (925): You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush http://tfl.nu/82mk
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (262)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party

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  (+44): Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party http://tfl.nu/3hql
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (212)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you

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  (612): You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you http://tfl.nu/5q64
  Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (189)

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