Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
