and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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