When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
