My nipple is on Facebook.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
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I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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