I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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