I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
