Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
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