Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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