i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
