I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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