Don't you send me to vm
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
