Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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