Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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