Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
