week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
