I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
