I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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