careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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