fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
