tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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