she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize