you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
