I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
