sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
