party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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