For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
