I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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