I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
