There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
