i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
