We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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