kristin has been a bad kristin
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
