I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
