So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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