Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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