you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
