just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you never un-have a 4some
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
