i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
