DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
