What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
