I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
