What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
