was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize